stages of the 24 hour stomach virus
That’s right folks, I’ve been blessed with the 24 hour stomach virus. So far this is how it’s gone.
Stage 1 – Denial: Its just a little stomach rumble. Nothing wrong here. I’ll just keep going about my day and maybe nothing will happen.
Stage 2 – Panic: Oh crap. What is happening to my stomach. This is not going away. Working through it is NOT working.
Stage 3 – Pain: My stomach feels as though it’s been invaded by that dancing monster from Spaceballs. I’m going to die.
Stage 4 – Worship the porcelain thrown. I’ll spare you the details.
Stage 5 – Pain revisited. A now empty stomach can’t decide if it’s going back to stage 4 or moving on to stage 6.
Stage 6 – The I’m swearing off food for the next year stage.
Stage 7 – Stage 6 was stupid. It’s just a little cramping now. I’m eating something.
Stage 8 – Stage 7 was really stupid and I’m going back to Stage 6.
Stage 9 – Sleep it off.
Stage 10 – Stomach flu hangover: You know what I’m talking about. The part where you are so afraid of it coming back that you refuse to eat anything but crackers and your stomach feels like bombs went off in it the previous day.
May the Gods of the Interwebz keep this virus from entering your house through computer generated osmosis.
Tags: health
the days of my life | 
Jen | April 9, 2009
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By margie, April 9, 2009 @ 1:42 pm
Oh my, I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that! I hope you are feeling much better!
Sending you {{hugs}}!
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By Danielle C., April 9, 2009 @ 1:58 pm
Get better soon!!!
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By Cheryl, April 9, 2009 @ 5:20 pm
Oh, your stages are so true! I’m sorry that you had to go through them. I hope you get to feeling better soon!
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By nic, April 10, 2009 @ 8:42 am
oh, honey. i’m hoping at this point you are fully recovered and onto stage 11: eat chocolate easter bunnies.
sorry this happened to you, but it sure was thoughtful of you to provide us with a comedic play-by-play.
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By Amy Priddy, April 10, 2009 @ 9:30 am
So sorry girl. My two youngest have been passing that back and forth for the past two weeks. I am hoping this is IT! Hope youa re feeling better!
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By Alison, April 13, 2009 @ 3:08 pm
Oh, I am sooo there with you! My fave was “worship the porcelain throne.” Poor thing! Hope you’re feeling ok now!
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By Devilish Southern Belle, April 13, 2009 @ 11:25 pm
Hope you are feeling better now!
Please, please, PLEASE do not let me have to deal with this anytime soon; I am such a wimp when it comes to stomach viruses!
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By Steph @ Problem Solvin Mom, April 19, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
Your stages sound eerily familiar…here’s hoping neither of us are visited again anytime soon!!
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By Maki, April 20, 2009 @ 12:23 am
Oh my god, I just had gone through the same problem past week. And my husband became very ill because of it…. I’m so glad it lasted only for 24 hours? And I’m sorry to say this, but your step-by-step explanation was way too hilarious. I know it wasn’t a laughing matter, but really, your post cracked me up… I so needed that.
Feel better soon!!!
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