Gone

I don’t have the words to describe the service Saturday but it’s done. It was everything Dad would have wanted it to be with the exception of the river of tears. There were so many people, so many people that dad touched in one way or another. There were 1,000’s of stories, mostly funny as Dad had a knack for being more than a little child like. The minister was a family friend and knew exactly what Dad would have wanted, his stories were happy and funny and even drew more than a few laughs. The music was touching and perfect. I don’t think that it could have gone better. Afterward nearly half the crowd jammed themselves into Mom and Dad’s house for a monstrous amount of food, coordinated by my wonderful mother in law. In short it was absolute perfection.

Now that everything is done I feel at a loss as to how to move on. I feel blindsided every minute by the holes that are left in my life and the holes that my children don’t know are being left in theirs. I feel the need to swoop my mom up and take her into my house like she is my child rather than my mother. I know it takes time, I know that. But for now it seems like time has stopped and all that I see around me is world I no longer know or understand.

Jen

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