stages of the 24 hour stomach virus

That’s right folks, I’ve been blessed with the 24 hour stomach virus. So far this is how it’s gone.

Stage 1 – Denial: Its just a little stomach rumble. Nothing wrong here. I’ll just keep going about my day and maybe nothing will happen.

Stage 2 – Panic: Oh crap. What is happening to my stomach. This is not going away. Working through it is NOT working.

Stage 3 – Pain: My stomach feels as though it’s been invaded by that dancing monster from Spaceballs. I’m going to die.

Stage 4 – Worship the porcelain thrown. I’ll spare you the details.

Stage 5 – Pain revisited. A now empty stomach can’t decide if it’s going back to stage 4 or moving on to stage 6.

Stage 6 – The I’m swearing off food for the next year stage.

Stage 7 – Stage 6 was stupid. It’s just a little cramping now. I’m eating something.

Stage 8 – Stage 7 was really stupid and I’m going back to Stage 6.

Stage 9 – Sleep it off.

Stage 10 – Stomach flu hangover: You know what I’m talking about. The part where you are so afraid of it coming back that you refuse to eat anything but crackers and your stomach feels like bombs went off in it the previous day.

May the Gods of the Interwebz keep this virus from entering your house through computer generated osmosis.

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