are we there yet?

And so begins the tale of our Adventure to Branson. I should begin our tale by explaining what kind of travelers Chris and I are. We are mellow. We don’t stress. And truth be told we don’t really like to plan – actually scheduling the vacation sucks up most of our ability to plan before we even leave. If it takes an extra hour or two to get there – so be it, there will obviously be a good story to tell afterwards.

We spent Friday packing, cleaning, laundering, bickering a little – the standard pre-vacation stress ritual. We went to bed with the intention of getting up insanely early. Night time Chris and Jen should really have a conversation with morning Chris and Jen about how lazy they are. We were up at 7 am and on the road by 10 am. Apparently we hadn’t packed as thoroughly as we thought we had.

With GPS in hand we were off. The kids were excited and happy to be playing with a new Elmo doll and a new Barbie. Chris and I each armed with a beverage of choice were pumped to be on the road. We knocked out 3 hours of the drive before we stopped for lunch. We decided to give Lamberts a try. It’s a quaint little place that declares itself to be “Home of the Throwed Rolls.” Interesting. Well apparently we were not the only ones to find it interesting. A 1 ½ hour wait at 1:45 pm on a Saturday, thanks but we’ll find something else. The trusty GPS pointed us in the direction of a Pizza Hut.

That poor Pizza Hut didn’t know what hit them. Ah, a cute couple with an adorable little girl and a handsome little blue eyed baby boy, what damage could they do. Muahahaha. Yes indeed, what damage could they do? We ordered a pizza. Our drinks came. Evey needed bathroom trip number one. Our pizza came. Ben needed bathroom trip number two. Uh-ho. No baby changing station in the broom closet sized bathroom. I head to the car to change his diaper. I get back to the table to take my first bite of now warm pizza as Evey spills her drink. Onto my pants. I make bathroom trip number 3. As I sit back down to eat my now rather cool pizza I notice Ben gumming up one of the Buzz Word cards that they had sitting on the table. I had a momentary flash that maybe I should take that card away from him but quickly thought nah, he’ll scream his head off. I should have listened to that original thought because within about two minutes I hear the tell tale sound of gagging which is immediately followed by the sound of Ben emptying his stomach onto his lap, the high chair, the floor, and my shoe. Chris and I exchange a horrified glance and burst into hysteric giggles. Bathroom trip number 4. Check please.

So it seems this may be something of a long vacation tale and as I don’t want to bore everyone to tears right up front I think I will pause for now. Stay tuned for part 2.

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