dear jimmy johns,
I like to start my letter by congratulating you on making a darn fine looking tasty sandwich. Well done. You have done the impossible, you have gotten my husband to eat sub sandwiches again. A feat that I personally thought was impossible. So again, I say, well done.
Now on to what this letter was inevitably about. My complaint. Let me set the stage for you so you can fully appreciate the problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in my average little yuppy suburb of a fairly large mid-western city minding my own business when I see it. A sign of God. A Jimmy Johns sign is up and ON in one of the 1,246 strip malls in the urban spral that is my suburban town. In my slightly delirious and ecstatic state I phone my husband and exclaim "They built a JIMMY JOHN'S here!" "WHAT! You're kidding! We have to eat there for dinner tonight!" replies the man who NEVER wants to eat out.
5:45 pm rolls around and my husband calls asking where the new JJ's is again. I give him directions and tell him to surprise me with my dinner order. 5 minutes later I recieve a heart broken and earth shattering call. Jimmy John's isn't open yet. WHAT! The sign was on. There were people moving around inside. WHAT do you MEAN they aren't OPEN?
It would appear that in your haste to show the people of our fair town that you were building here you did things in a decidedly backward order. You see putting the sign up FIRST and then constructing the interior of the restaurant SECOND is a dasterly and cruel deed to those of us who enjoy instant sandwich gratification.
I wish this was the end of my sad tale but alas it is not. Two full months later I drive past your fair establishment to AGAIN be fooled into thinking you are open for business yet woefully, you are not. Why do you taunt me so, Jimmy John's? Why do you set your enticing JJ's sign out first before the building is ready? And please, I beg you. Open that dang store SOON.
Jen, a girl who just wants a good sandwich (that someone else made)