Happy Birthday, Dad

Happy Birthday Dad,

It’s been a year and a half now since you left us. It’s crazy how that time seems so infinite and so short at the same time. Infinite in the fact that I still don’t always know your gone and so short as I watch my kids grow older each day with barely a remembrance of who you are.

Evey is getting so big. She is learning how to read and she can write quite a few words. She’s taking ballet and seems to have found grace from someone other than me and she’s quite the little performer. Last night she and I had a little drawing session as she came to me and said “Mama, you draw me while I draw you.” You can just see the creative spirit flowing in her veins. She’s smart and funny and compassionate and loving and wonderful, just as she was the last time you saw her only it seems to have magnified 1,000 times now.

Ben is amazing. I’m in awe everyday that he everything that he is. You wouldn’t recognize him. To the unknowing on looker you wouldn’t even know that we spent a month holding our breath not knowing if he would live. He’s talking and laughing and eating and playing and oh man is he smart. And ornery. Ornery like only your grandson (and Bill’s nephew) could be. You can just see the glimmer in his eye of the humor that will one day be the cornerstone of his personality.

I’m doing really well. Now that Ben is a little older I’ve started drawing again. I know that was always one of the things you were most proud of. I’ve done a few things of the kids and a few random thing to knock the dust off. Chris is great and creative as always. Mom is hanging in there. She’s strong. She’s amazing. I know she misses you more than she ever lets on. She’s still taking care of us just like she always has.

I’m not good at wrapping this kind of thing up, you know me – great at the meat of the issue, horrible at the emotional part. I’m sure this is full of typos and mis-spelling but I can’t bring myself to re-read it just yet. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss you.

Happy Birthday Dad.

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